


Bismillah! We will not let you go.

by petertheparkerpus_mjmonogram



Series: the trials of falling in love with one michelle jones [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Awesome Michelle Jones, BAMF Michelle Jones, Birthday, Birthday Dinner, Birthday Fluff, Established Relationship, F/M, Family Fluff, Father-Daughter Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gay dads, Gen, Good Peter, HAHAHHAHAHA, Long-Term Relationship(s), M/M, MJ has gay dads, Meet the Family, Michelle Jones Is a Good Bro, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker is a Mess, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Michelle Jones, Short & Sweet, adorable cute babies, bon appétit, like definitively dumb but also just very sweet haahhaha, significant relationship milestones, this is probably a teensy bit dumb but really just super sweet too imo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:53:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25736089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petertheparkerpus_mjmonogram/pseuds/petertheparkerpus_mjmonogram
Summary: It's the 'Meet the Parents' fic yalls. MJ has two dads and Peter is flipping petrified of them. Cut to shenanigans to distract Peter from his (not irrational, in his opinion, VERY rational) irrational fear and stop him from turning into an inanimate sweat puddle before MJ's birthday dinner even begins.
Relationships: Michelle Jones & Michelle Jones's Father, Michelle Jones/Peter Parker
Series: the trials of falling in love with one michelle jones [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1757794
Comments: 4
Kudos: 37





	Bismillah! We will not let you go.

**Author's Note:**

> just search gay dads on my tumblr (w/c yalls can find out on mah profile) if yalls wanna find out how the idea for this fic first came to be.
> 
> but just fyi, they're dwayne 'the rock' johnson and will smith
> 
> *throws glitter and runs away*

“Peter, it is a _pleasure_ to see you again!” James’ exuberant personality shining out of his large dominating stature as he goes for an excited handshake with the anxious human disaster that was currently also known as Peter Parker.

“It’s great to see you too, Mr. Jones,” Peter shakes MJ’s dad’s hand as the words _‘Don’t Fuck Anything Up’_ run over his head over and over and over and over-

“Please, we’re family by now, Peter. Feel free to call me James,” James offered with a rather strong pat to Peter’s back that _even he_ felt, and he had super strength.

“Okay, _James_ ,” Peter amends as he finally enters the modern New York apartment, the Jones-Watson household.

“Now, if you excuse me, I’ll just go check on dinner. Should be done any moment now,” James informs Peter before turning, “Michael, keep Peter company while I fix dinner!”

With a welcoming grin and a nod, James leaves Peter to his devices until from out of the corner of his eyes, he spots MJ’s other dad, Michael, coming from what he remembers to be the office/library of their apartment. Sometimes Peter forgets how fancy schmancy his girlfriend actually is…

“It’s good to see you again, Mr. Watson,” Peter greets MJ’s dad with a nod, knowing from previous experience her father’s reluctance over interacting with new people.

Peter still shudders over that memory of him going for a handshake only to be left hanging,,,, for the most unbearable longest of awkward failed introductions to an SO’s parents….

“Mr. Parker,” Michael greets Peter as well with a nod and brief (but still slightly terrifyingly intense) look in his eyes before drifting his attention back to the rather large book he was reading in his hand this entire time.

“I’m really grateful you guys invited me for MJ’s birthday dinner,” aand Nothing, still reading that book, “It uh- it really means a lot.”

Peter’s smiling, but he’s literally crumbling on the inside, dying of awkwardness, as MJ’s dad doesn’t even pay him but a single nod in response.

Okay, in order to understand why exactly Peter’s so goddamn petrified of MJ’s parents, other than the fact that _**THEY ARE MICHELLE JONES-WATSON’S FATHERS**_ , here’s a bit of backstory of what MJ’s told Peter about her parents.

They’re both in law enforcement. The father that Peter met at the door who greeted him is basically essentially an action adventurer globetrotting hall of fame field agent who looks like THAT.

And the quiet intellectual father that’s barely said more than a sentence to Peter since the first time they’ve met, is apparently this super suave CIA secret agent who can infiltrate any covert stealth op and blend and adapt into any situation for whatever’s needed of him.

Looks can deceive alright.

Peter’s pretty sure if MJ’s dads were spider-men instead of him, there’d basically be no crime left in New York City within a month.

NO CRIME, _IN NEW YORK_.

THAT’S HOW TERRIFYING HIS GIRLFRIEND’S PARENTS ARE.

AND HE’S FACED THE TITAN THANOS WHO KILLED HALF OF ALL LIFE IN THE UNIVERSE.

Peter’s pretty sure he’s only slightly less terrified for this dinner right now than when he was running and fight _for his life_ in the Infinity War.

“Oh come on, Peter. Of course, you’d be invited for dinner. If you weren’t, I doubt this dinner would be any different from our other family dinners where I try to have some nice conversation and actual bonding time and those two would just- grumble in response,” added James, coming back from the kitchen.

“I find goading MJ into a full on speech is the best way to have her say more than one sentence to me,” Peter adds with a shy shrug and smile then he gets another earthquaking slap on the back and a terrifyingly loud boisterous laugh for his- was it even a joke? Peter thinks it wasn’t even that funny.

Also, is it possible for a human to be larger than Thanos? It certainly seemed so at the moment.

Also, was it even possible for his voice to be breaking in the petrified internal monologue he was having with himself right now????

“Hey, loser,” MJ suddenly creeps out from right behind him and Peter struggles to recall a time he’s ever been gladder to have heard the affectionately mean insult/cute bf nickname.

“Oh, thank god. Hi MJ!!!!” Peter signals her a look that he hopes indicates his current unbridled losing-his-shit panic, and MJ can merely scoff and chuckle at Peter’s phobia of her parents that for the life of her she still doesn’t understand.

“Hey… Peter, you doing okay there?”

“Yeah. Yeah, yep yep, totes totes Coolio, Em. Veerryyy coooll…”

Peter can die now. Where are the damn sinister six when he needs them?

MJ can merely shake her head in disbelief (and maybe a bit of a sadistic giddiness??) over Peter dousing himself in gasoline every time he interacts with her dads.

“Sooo, Dad, Imma just steal Peter for a bit while dinner’s not done yet, is that cool?” MJ’s hooked her arm with Peter’s, the calm down strategy she came up with for Peter already set up in her room. Man, she really loves this guy, doesn’t she?

“As long as you follow the rules,” James remarked in an almost sing-song manner, “Open six inches.”

James shoots Peter a very very VERY threateningly terrifying coy smile and Peter’s not sure if he might have fainted were it not for MJ dragging him to her room.

Peter lands face first at the bed the second they arrive, “Just put me out of my mercy already, Em. I don’t know if I’m not gonna be an inanimate puddle of flop sweat before dessert.”

Peter’s rather over dramatically (in MJ’s opinion) curled up in a fetal position and hiding his face with his hands when MJ remarks, “Calm down, drama baby.”

“I don’t even know half of what the hell I’m doing when I’m in front of your dads, Em! What the fuck’s wrong with me????”

Peter’s back to faceplanting himself on MJ’s bed, his voice muffled as a result of, so she was barely able to catch his panic shouts.

Alright that was it, MJ thought. Peter only felt MJ leave the bed when-

_Shawty’s like a melody in my head_

_That I can’t keep out, got me singin’ like_

_Na na na na everyday_

_It’s like my iPod’s stuck on replay_

_Replay-ay-ay-ay_

_Shawty’s-_

Peter hears the certifiably iconic 2000s bop blasting from the speakers set up in his girlfriend’s room, as he lifts his head from his muffled position, and for the first time since he entered the Jones-Watson household… he’s felt something other than overwhelmingly spectacular shame, awkwardness, nerves, and anxiety.

Peter laughs a big lighthearted freeing sigh of relief laugh.

And he is merely in absolute awe, at what the person he loves is willing to tolerate just cause of how much she loves him too, as Iyaz’s sweet smooth vocals still resonate in MJ’s room, almost as if it were a serenade.

Peter, himself for once, is laughing at just how stupid this whole thing was. God, did MJ love him. (And did he love her, but that should just be well-established by now)

“You feeling better now?” MJ asks, sitting on the bed right next to Peter, her hand placed on his bent legs.

Peter chuckles, “Yes,” and his heart eyes smile beams, “Because I have the best girlfriend in the world who’s willing to tarnish her ears with what she’s called _mindless pop_ just to cheer up and calm down her boyfriend. Thank you.”

MJ scoffs and looks away (she is literally unable to handle the brightness of Peter’s shining heart eyes), “Didn’t want him to turn into a sweat puddle… woulda put a downer on the whole singing and birthday cake thing.”

Peter laughs and kisses MJ on the cheek that wasn’t facing away from him, but then winces, “Ugh. I’m sorry I got so caught up in my feels, Em. Hope I didn’t ruin your family birthday dinner that much.”

“It’s fine. Gives me something to do at least heh. And I know you’re so scared only cause you just want my dads to like you that much,” MJ consoled with a clipped sympathetic smile.

“Ugh,” Peter shudders, “Replay did manage to knock some sense into me and kinda like, reboot me, weirdly enough… but I’m still so intimidated by your dads, Em. They’re _so_ scary….”

MJ chuckles, only one thing left to do now.

“Nope. I am not gonna let you go down this road again, Parker,” suddenly MJ’s getting up and closing the door but before Peter could manically protest, MJ’s grabbing a bottle of lotion, almost like she was holding it like a mic- _Oh no_.

“Never forget how much I give a shit about you, Parker,” MJ threateningly snarled at Peter before his head proceeded to explode at the phenomenon he wasn’t aware was even remotely possible to existing.

MJ breathes deep, closing her eyes before-

“ _Shawty’s like a melody in my head. That I can’t keep out, got me singin’ like Na na na na everyday. It’s like my iPod’s stuck on replay_ ,” MJ crooned so naturally, directed straight at Peter, he- he had no words.

“ _Shawty’s like a melody_ \- Peter Benjamin Parker, you are NOT going to let me sing this damn song on my own. _Na na na na everyday, it’s like my iPod’s stuck on replay_.”

Peter snorts, “Can’t I though?”

MJ sends Peter a death glare, and he laughs before proceeding without even skipping a beat, “ _See you been all around the globe. Not once did you leave my mind_ ,” directing the last lyric right at the girl he was ridiculously in love with.

“ _We talk on the phone, from night 'til the morn’. Girl, you really changed my life_ ,” Peter hollered so shamelessly at her she couldn’t not laugh at her dork of a boyfriend’s dorkiness.

Then Peter signaled her that apparently it was her turn to sing now- Oh shit. MJ checks the lyrics she has up on her phone.

“ _Doin’ things I never do_ ,” (you got that right) MJ tries to sing-read along from her phone while looking at Peter for reassurance, “ _I'm in the kitchen cookin' things she likes. We're real worldwide, breaking all the rules._ ”

“ _Someday I wanna make you my wiiiiiiiifffffffffeeeeeeeee_ ,” MJ manages to belt out earning her a whoop and fist pump from Peter which managed to make her smile just before Peter excitedly yelps out, “MJ, come on, it’s the chorus. We _have to_ sing it together.”

"Alright, alright-"

“ _SHAWTY’S LIKE A-_ ” Peter and MJ both belt out as promised, his arm draped around MJ’s shoulder, and already, it’s like Peter’s forgotten what he was so terrified of to begin with.

Meanwhile, in the office of the Jones-Watson household, the automatic mechanism that triggered the hidden bug in Michelle’s room to start transmitting as soon as the door is closed starts blasting the two teens’ karaoke session, much to the glad surprise of one Michael Watson.

_Shawty’s like a melody in my head~_

_Shawty’s like a melody!_

_Na na na na everyday_

_Aaaaah, aaahhhh, AAAAHHHHHHH_

_“What are you doing??” MJ finally breathily asks, almost not managing to cause the laughter from her lungs still refused to die down._

_“Second voice, MJ, come on. We have to do this with the second voice at least once.”_

Michael would never ever admit to getting a tad emotional over hearing his daughter’s unabashed belly laughter over Peter’s ridiculously casual reply to her question.

That would be a secret on the level of the stuff he kept for his job, the kind you still wouldn’t get out of him even after the worst of tortures possible. He’s talking electrocution, mutila-

“You always were a softie,” James spoke out with soft eyes and a sappy smile, breaking his husband from his reverie, leaning against the office door.

Michael clears his throat, his expression going back to the placid one he usually kept, revealing nothing.

“Just doing my job as a parent, James. MJ and Peter know the rules. If they didn’t abide them, they should know there’d be consequences.”

“Uh-uh yeah, sure. Of course. I’ll go ahead and call them, dinner’s ready,” James informs, about to leave the office.

“Wait-”

James turns back and notices the nervously shy expression he’s seen his husband sport too many times, it’s adorable.

“Let them finish this next song first.”

James was definitely about to say something smug with the biggest shit-eating grin that he has when Michael simply raises his finger and reiterates, “Don’t get any ideas. I simply am a fan of the all-time Queen Classic, Bohemian Rhapsody, and would rather enjoy listening to it right now.”

Michael wouldn’t look his husband in the eyes as he said so, but James relented, merely raising his hands in defeat, letting his husband’s secret softness go by smug comment-free.

“But, also…”

James looks back, in surprise, genuinely not expecting Michael to say more.

“I don’t think I’ve seen Michelle laugh as hard as she does when she is with Mr. Parker… I should like to see, or I guess hear, rather, more of our daughter’s happiness.”

James heart aches. He nods in agreement with his husband.

“If only Peter knew you probably approve of him more than I do,” James snickered and rolled his eyes affectionately as he left the office.

_SO YOU THINK YOU CAN STONE ME AND SPIT IN MY EEEYEYEYEYYEEEEEEEYYYYYEESSSSS!!!!!!!!!_

Michael hears both his daughter and her paramour giddily sing shout from his recording device after some bit of jumping around from the rock instrumental, he assumes is what that noise was.

_SO YOU THINK YOU CAN LOVE ME AND LEAVE ME TO DIIEEIEIIEIEIEIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!_

He smiles over the actions of his daughter with the boyfriend she knows she cares for a lot, and he truly, if anything, something he would only willingly admit in the peace and privacy of his own mind, is tremendously happy Michelle met one Mr. Peter Benjamin Parker, even if he was one inefficient Spider-man.

(To anyone wondering how they found out, all he can say is, “Pfft please.”)

**Author's Note:**

> Some notes on Peter and MJ singing BoRap:  
> • Peter definitely sung second voice all the way thru (even parts that don't actually have a second voice on it) with MJ on main vocals.  
> • MJ would ask Peter if he was hyped up enough during the instrumental parts since she knew right after this, they’d probably be doing the uncomfortable dinner part now.  
> • To which, Peter would say an emphatic “Yeah!!!!” while air punching like Rocky.  
> • Lots of air guitar and head banging.  
> • They may or may not have taken advantage of the closed door, for some post-Queen making out.  
> • They definitely did.  
> • Michael quickly informs James to storm in before things get any further.  
> • He approved of Mr. Parker but he didn’t approve of him /that/ much.
> 
> also, for replay's pre-chorus, pete would sing that girl while mj would sing the rest
> 
> i hope this seemed as fun and dorky and dumb but cute as i imagined it to be,,,, hahahahhahaha bon appetit. im probs gonna write more maybe idk hahahha we'll just have to see hahhahahaha
> 
> also, is it just me or do the songs kinda apply sorta???? (who would have ever knew that we would ever be more than friends~~ and Peter rlly is just a poor boi whose drama baby ass would be feeling borap so hard as he meets mj's dads)
> 
> *glitter smoke bomb and disappears for like another hundred years like aang*


End file.
